Spotting Depression in Children: A Guide for Parents

As a therapist who works with children, a common question parents ask me is, “How do I know if my child is really struggling?” I often hear this from caring parents who worry about missing something important.

Depression in children doesn’t always look the way we expect. Kids don’t usually say, “I’m depressed.” Instead, their feelings often show up in their behavior, routines, or small changes in how they move through their day. These signs can be easy to miss, especially when life is busy, but noticing them early can make a meaningful difference.

7 Signs of Depression in Children

Changes in Mood

You might notice your child:

• Becoming more irritable or easily frustrated

• Crying more often or seeming “down.”

• Pulling away from things they used to enjoy

• Taking longer to bounce back after disappointment

In my work, these shifts often surface before a child can explain what they are feeling.

Changes in Behavior

Some children show their emotional struggles through behavior like:

• Wanting to be alone more often or avoiding friends

• Losing interest in activities they once loved

• Avoiding school or struggling more with homework

• Seeking extra reassurance from adults

These behaviors are not about being “difficult” or defiant. They are usually your child’s way of coping with emotions that feel overwhelming.

Physical Signs

Emotional stress can also show up in the body, sometimes even before mood changes are obvious. You might notice:

• Frequent stomachaches or headaches without a clear medical cause

• Low energy or seeming tired most of the time

• Trouble sleeping or noticeable changes in appetite (an increase or decrease)

I have found that with younger children, physical symptoms often appear first, serving as an early signal that your child may be struggling emotionally.

Negative Self-Talk

Pay attention to how your child talks about themselves and their abilities. Comments like:

• “I’m not good at anything.”

• “Nobody likes me.”

• “What’s the point?”

When I hear statements like these, even when said casually, they often point to deeper emotional distress.

Difficulty Managing Emotions

Children who are struggling emotionally may:

• Have bigger reactions to everyday situations

• Seek more comfort or closeness than usual

• Show behaviors from earlier stages of development, such as regression

These behaviors are often attempts to feel safe when emotions feel too big to handle alone.

Withdrawal or Avoidance

You might also notice your child:

• Avoiding activities they once enjoyed

• Spending more time alone

• Seeming disengaged, distant, or checked out

These behaviors are a natural way that both children AND adults cope when emotions start to feel overwhelming. 

Safety Concerns

If your child:

• Talks about wanting to disappear or die

• Engages in self-harm behaviors

• Draws or writes about hurting themselves

Please seek help immediately. Even comments that seem small or offhand should be taken seriously.

What You Can Do to Help.

If you notice several of these signs lasting for a few weeks:

• Talk with your child’s pediatrician

• Reach out to a therapist who specializes in working with children

• Check in with school counselors or teachers

Many parents worry they should be able to fix this on their own, but support works best when it is shared. 

Good News!

Children are incredibly resilient, especially when they feel supported, heard, and understood. By noticing changes, asking questions, and reaching out for help, you are taking the right steps. Supporting your child now helps them build lifelong emotional skills that will serve them well throughout their life. 

Whether your child is dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, low self-esteem, conflict, or big life changes, I would be honored to support them on their healing journey. If you’d like to connect or learn more about how I can help, please feel free to reach out.